Second+ Generation Matching
Becoming a Candidate
When are you ready for a relationship?
Only you can tell.
Until then, we are here to offer some support and guidance on your journey, and hopefully answer all of your questions.
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Matching and Blessing is an internal process, so it's important to take enough time to prepare your heart and to prepare a foundation that Heavenly Parent can work on. That’s why we strongly recommend offering conditions and daily prayers, ideally together with your parents.
Go to the section "Preparing for the Matching" to find out more!
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Learn more here.
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True Parents introduced the new tradition of finding a partner with the help of our parents and Heavenly Parent. It is important that we communicate openly and honestly with our parents.
In case it is difficult to share honestly with your parents, we recommend including a matching supporter who can help as a mediator in this process.
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The Matching and Blessing Preparation Handbook was created to help parents and candidates get a deeper understanding of the matching and Blessing process, and as guidance in preparation for a successful matching.
Please read it together before starting the matching process.
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An official Level 2 Matching & Blessing Preparation Workshop organized with BFD EUME should be completed before starting a Matching Process. It is designed to support all candidates and parents who are preparing for the matching.
The workshop is also a requirement to join the international matching website.
BFD EUME organises this workshop twice a year: once in the early spring and once in the autumn. Usually they are: one online on Zoom and one in person.
There might be a local workshop happening near you. Check our calendar or reach out to your local BFD representative for more info.
The Certificate of Completion should not be older than 2 years when receiving the Cosmic Blessing, so we recommend attending the workshop before starting the Matching process and, if the certificate has expired, once more before attending the Cosmic Blessing.
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The primary purpose of the Interview and Confession is to ensure that the 2nd+ Gen is qualified to begin the matching process.
The secondary purpose is to give the candidate the opportunity to honestly report any past mistakes to God and True Parents. The candidate may share anything that is weighing on their heart, so that they may be guided on a path to restore any mistakes they may have made. The candidate must understand the importance of the confession and should share honestly and completely, especially on issues in the area of sexual purity.
Please keep in mind that the Interview and Confession should be done before starting a matching process. It is also an international requirement to join the International Matching Website.
The Interview and Confession can only be conducted by a qualified interviewer trained by BFD EUME.
Please contact your national BFD leader to receive a list of the people with whom you can do the interview. It is recommended to do the interview with someone in your Sub-Region.
The interview and confession should only be done in person.It is absolutely confidential and no details of the content will be written down or shared.
The interviewer may delay the signing of the form until they have made sure that the candidate fulfills all the requirements of the Interview and Confession. This may involve a time period in which the candidate resolves any current issues.
After the interview and confession, the candidate will receive a form to upload to the blessingapplication.eu website.
If the Interview and Confession is older than two years when receiving the Cosmic Blessing, we recommend to update it (if possible, with the same interviewer as the first time). This update can be a short conversation.
Read more about the Interview and Confession in the Handbook -
The Blessing Application Website (www.blessingapplication.eu) gives you an overview of your current Blessing Application status and your missing qualifications.
You can start creating a profile and uploading your documents anytime after your 18th birthday.
Please upload all the necessary documents on this website.How to join:
Go to www.blessingapplication.eu
Click on "New Registration"
Fill out the required fields and register
Your profile will be approved within a few working days and you will receive an email once you can log in.
An overview of all Blessing qualifications can be found here.
"You will probably want a partner who has a heart as wide as the ocean, right?
It is the same for your partner"
Hak Ja Han Moon (2014)
Finding the One
Before your parents start looking for a match, please make sure to have done all necessary preparations, as detailed in the above section Becoming a Candidate
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We recommend that the parents and the candidate each fill out this worksheet separately, and then work together to create a single, unified Family Matching Plan.
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Whether you decide to create a profile on the International Matching Website (www.blessing4u.org) or write a private profile, you’ll need a way to introduce yourself properly to other parents.
For parents searching for a match, what they read about a candidate and how the candidate presents him or herself (in pictures) is extremely important.
We strongly recommend that you take this self-introduction seriously.
Take time to create your profile carefully and be sincere: make effort to share about yourself, your values and desires, your way of life, your relationship to God and True Parents, etc.. so that other parents can get an idea about your character and lifestyle.
If you don’t feel comfortable using the International Matching Website, we suggest creating a private matching profile that your parents and Matching Supporter can use to approach other parents.
This could be a simple profile with some basic information about yourself and your family, a written introduction (share about your hobbies, character, goals and aspirations, faith, career, etc…) and some pictures of yourself.
Our Matching Support team has prepared a private matching profile template to help you introduce yourself: Download here -
Matching Supporters are available to support a candidate and their family through the matching process. We are in regular communication with each other and are developing a good overview and understanding of the situation and challenges facing EUME families who are in the process of matching their children.
A Matching Supporter can:
help families to understand the guidelines and procedures involved in the matching process and to make all necessary preparations for the matching
help candidates and families in the process of finding other candidates.
act as a mediator between two families.
help research the situation of someone suggested as a possible match.
and much more…
Look at the list of our European Matching Supporters (login required)
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There are different ways on how to find a match. The most common tool in EUME is the international matching website. Below we created suggestions. It is important that both the candidate and his/her parents are clear about the method and keep each other informed.
Suggestions from your parents
International Matching Websites: blessing4u.org
Suggestions from the candidate, family and friends, matching supporters, BFD leaders, etc.
Attend Parents Matching Convocation
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It is possible to register on the international matching website and search for a candidate there. The website offers a wide range of 2nd+ Gen candidates from all over the world. Again we recommend creating a profile which offers a deep and thoughtful introduction of the candidate.
Here is a step-by-step description on how to register:
Go to: www.blessing4u.org
The Candidate needs to register
The Candidate has to fill out all the fields and upload a personal photo
Inform the webmaster that you have completed the profile
The webmaster will check if you fulfill all requirements to be on the website (Level 2 WS and Interview and Confession)
The status of your profile will be changed to “visible”
Your parents will receive an email with the parents password
Your parents can search for other candidates
If you encounter any difficulties, contact our webmaster Doreen Waldmann webmaster.eume@gmail.com
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When you find a candidate that you are interested in, parents can contact the other family by email, by phone, in-person, through matching supporters or the national BFD leaders.
Discuss thoroughly with the other family, make conditions, TAKE YOUR TIME to do this.
INTRODUCTION OF CANDIDATES
We suggest timing be carefully considered and that the process not be rushed.
We recommend that candidates:
Pray about any suggestions you receive and listen to your heart
Ask your parents why they think this person would fit with you and share with your parents about your feelings
Take every suggestion seriously and include God in your decision
Keep an open heart and mind but don’t feel pressured to say yes if your heart tells you otherwise.
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If the candidates accept to enter this communication period, parents take a step back and the candidates get to know each other.
INITIAL COMMUNICATION PERIOD
We recommend a period of initial communication between the two candidates of approximately 21 days, in order to consider whether to enter into a formal matching process.
You can find some recommended questions to ask each other hereand more in our handbook.
MATCHING PROCESS & DEEPER COMMUNICATION
After communicating thoroughly, the candidates should decide if they wish to become a matched couple. We recommend a time period of 7 months as a guideline.
The next step would be the commitment ceremony. Read more below.
Commitment Ceremony
Once the two candidates have decided to become a matched couple and the parents of both candidates agree, they can organise a Commitment Ceremony where both families (candidates and their parents) sign the official Matching Report Form.
Candidates can also organize the Ceremony together with their Matching Supporter or community leader.
Please keep in mind that the couple should have met at least once in person before holding the Commitment Ceremony.
After holding the Commitment Ceremony, please remember to:
- upload the signed Matching Report Form to the EUME Blessing Application Website (blessingapplication.eu)
- and send it to BFD EUME at europe.cosmic.blessing@gmail.com
Feel free to create the Commitment Ceremony any way you like, but one part should be to pray and sign the papers together. Once your matching is official, please inform your pastor and national BFD.
Below you can find a suggested programme for your Ceremony (adapted from the Blessing and Family Ministry of North America):
The Relationship as a
Matched Couple
It’s important to prepare well for the Blessing as a matched couple. We recommend doing spiritual conditions together and to consciously invite Heavenly Parent into the relationship.
We want to strongly emphasize that the couple maintains a brother and sister relationship during this time. Heavenly Parent is looking forward to giving you the Cosmic Blessing as a couple and to start your relationship from that day on.
Guidance for Parents
The internal preparation for our children to go the way of the matching and Holy Blessing starts already in our home.
Parents can be role models for their children through living a good married life and through their faith in Heavenly and True Parents. Therefore, it is important that you build a trusting and honest relationship with your children from an early age.
We should make an effort to achieve better communication with our children and develop a better understanding of their inner feelings, wishes, hopes and actual life situation.
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Set a good example by striving to become a Blessed couple who love and respect each other. This is the best way for your child to experience a loving relationship.
Discuss the process with your spouse. Even if one parent takes a more active role, it is important that you agree with one another on how to approach the matching process before you begin. Keep each other informed about any updates.
As parents it is important to set spiritual conditions together before matching your child. It is very important that you feel united during this process.
Reflect and share about the strengths and weaknesses of your child. Talk about what kind of person might fit as a partner for your child and why. Respect each other's opinions and pray and reflect about those points.
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Does our child want to be matched? Is our child ready to start a matching process?
Suggest to them that they should start a spiritual condition, together with parents if possible.
After this, you can discuss their wishes and preferences, but do not be limited by them. Help them to be more open to God’s viewpoint and not just their own desire.
Parents should respect their child’s input throughout the process and give them ownership over the final matching decision. Listen carefully to any comments/suggestions your child has to give.
It is important that your child can trust you to find a partner for them. Don’t push or force the process.
In order to find the right partner, parents need to be aware of the level of purity of their own child. Support them to resolve any purity or lifestyle issues before beginning a matching process.
Each candidate needs to complete their Blessing application. Please be aware of the current status of your child’s application (check the overview of the conditions to receive the Blessing).
Before starting with the matching process, make an appointment to talk with your BFD leader to get guidance and advice.
Attend a “Blessing Preparation Workshop” together with your child. This shows your child that you have a sincere interest in the matching. By attending this workshop, both you and your child will have a common understanding of the matching process.
Matching for Treasures from Heaven
Our Treasures from Heaven Department is there to support you and your child in the beautiful journey of finding a spouse.
Read more on the department below: